THE DICTIONARY OF READYMADE IDEAS

A

ACCIDENT—Sits in a small corner.

ACTORS—Always earn more than actresses. Be annoyed by that.

ADVERTISEMENT—Generates superfluous desires and promotes the objectification of women. You can make a lot of money from it.

ALCOHOLISM— Something from the previous generation. Always playfully problematize your own drinking to be reassured by your conversation partner.

AMBITION—Or children?

ANGER OUTBURST—Comes from sexual frustrations.

ANIMALS—Are cute or dirty. In faraway countries, they can also be dangerous.

ANNOYANCE—Always immoderate.

ANTIQUES—Maybe there’s money to be made from in a TV show.

AQUEDUCT—Built by the Romans.

ARCHITECTS—Bunglers. Just look around you.
ARMY—Can’t we shut it down? One should talk and not fight.
ART (fine)—The most elevated expression of civilization. Part of every city trip.

ART (modern)—Always disappoints.

ASPHALT—There’s too much of it.

AUSTRALIA—That’s where you go when you don’t know what to do with your life.

AUTHENTIC—Only applies to things that are decaying in the right way.

B

BABY—Avoid saying it’s cute if it’s a girl and sturdy if it’s a boy. There’s always one on the plane crying during the whole flight. Smells quite a bit, except when it’s your own. When there’s a baby present in your company, you’re only allowed to talk about that.

BACKSTREETS—Breeding ground for great novels.

BALDNESS—Is a quiet tragedy. When the time comes for a man to accept his fate and cut off his remaining locks, compliment him: “It’s better this way.”

BALL (masquerade)—It would be much easier to find a partner if these still existed.

BANKSY—Nobody knows what he looks like.
BASILICA—Something with a sphere.

BEARD—Worn by hipsters, Muslims and the extreme right. Hides a bad jawline very effectively. Usually has food scraps or small animals hidden inside of it.

BEAUTY—Perishes. About old women you say they’re still quite beautiful for their age.

BEER—The glass sandwich. Is actually for men.

BEGGARS—Should start a union.

BELGIAN—Doesn’t exist.

BIBLE—Horrible, but necessary to understand our society.

BILL—Make it an honor at a restaurant to pay. Hope the other person will stick to that same principle even more.

BITCOIN— Always tell about an acquaintance who became extremely rich from it. Regret you’ve never delved into it yourself.
BLACK—A safe choice for clothing, but otherwise a very dangerous word.
BLONDE—Certainly not dumber than others, but nevertheless …

BOAT—Is not a ship.
BODY—It’s important to feel at home in it. Southern people can do this better than Northern.

BOOK—After an extended personal story: “I could write a book about this.”

BOURGEOIS— Nag at. Mostly occurs among people with a family and detached homes. When accusing someone of it, overemphasize the ou “That one is so bourrgeois!” It’s never you of course.

BOWELS—Determine your mood and even your intelligence.

BRAND—If you wear branded clothing, you’re just a walking billboard.

BREASTS—Try not to look at them.

BRIEFCASE—Only posers and losers still use them.

BROAD-MINDED—When you say this about yourself, follow it by ‘but’. 

BUDDHISM—The most harmless religion: one can find a Buddha in most decor stores.

BUDGET—Should always be associated with a small housekeeping notebook.

BUFFET—A fancy description for stainless steel containers in which food is kept lukewarm by means of smelly heaters. Yet the gleaming lids arouse a hopeful appetite. 

BURN-OUT—The plague of our time. Secretly think that all those people are being dramatic.

C

CABARET PERFORMERS—Often go into politics.
CAMEL—Stores water in its humps.
CANCEL CULTURE—Has escalated. Hope you’re not the next victim.

CANDLE—Has a romantic effect. Never leave one unattended as they are a potential fire hazard.

CAR—Necessary evil. You’re actually against it, but otherwise the kids can’t get to school safely.

CAT—Is better at inhabiting a house than a human being.

CAUCASIAN — Shouldn’t be used anymore.

CENSORSHIP—Doesn’t only exist in China and Russia!

CHAIR—The usual spot of a deceased person always remains his.

CHEERFUL—Characteristic of naive people.

CHEESE BOARD—Gives a Burgundian cachet to reunions.

CHEESE CRUST—Invented by the Dutch to conserve their cheese on their boat trip to the Indies.

CHILDREN—Speak the truth, just like drunken men.

CIDER—Make sure you have friends in France who make it themselves.

CINEMA—Is dying.

CLASS—You have to be aware of it.

CLIMATE MARCH—Notorious truants mostly participate in this. Always carefully look around to see if you can spot one of the famous climate students.

COFFEE—A cup of comfort. Good for the bowel movement.

COKE—Purifies the stomach. You can bleach pennies with it. Symbol of consumer society.

COLD—Stimulates the blood circulation. Makes you strong.

COMFORT—That’s what you pay for.

COMMUNITY—Don’t think about that one meaning. Think of the other meaning every time. You should always hint that your work has a positive influence on it.

COMPETITION—Only leads to more stress. Is unfortunately necessary for the functioning of our economy though.

CONCERT—You only go when you’re young and looking for a lover. (Classical music concerts are only attended by graybeards).

CONCESSIONS—Everyone has to do them. In politics they’re a sign of weakness.

CONCRETE STOP—Political whining.

CONSERVATISM—It’s becoming increasingly unclear what should be conserved.

CONSTIPATION—Has a psychological cause, usually separation anxiety.

CONSTRUCTION—Always takes longer than expected. Creates endless interesting details to tell family, friends and acquaintances about.

CONVERSATION—Preferably not about identity politics.

CORONA—Generates very annoying political debates. Introduced the “new normal,” whatever that may be.

CORPULENCE—Sign of poverty (and laziness).

COULEUR LOCALE—The setting of adventure movies.

COZY—Should be expressed with emphasis when sitting down with friends or acquaintances in the living room. Is directly related to Pickwick and Yogi tea labels.CHRISTIANITY—Ultimately better than those other religions.

CRITIC—Could be slightly more harsh.

CROSS NECKLACE—Is worn by Christians, but also by young people who don’t mean anything by it. This shows that our society reduces all values to fashion items.

CYNICISM—Usually occurs in pretentious overachievers with bad characters.

D

DANCE—Rock back and forth to the beat and shout into the ear of vague acquaintances.

DARWIN—Was apparently a racist too.

DEBT—One must repay one’s debts. The government as well.

DEGRADATION—Always cite when talking about Wallonia.
DESERT—Speak of the desert of reality, after which you drop a telling silence.

DESSERT—You always hope for it, but unfortunately it’s rarely offered. Dutch people say ‘toetje’.

DETERIORATION– All of us will have to endure it. More tragic for women than for men.

DIAMOND—Always preceded by ‘blood’. Only possessed by bandits, stars or Jews.

DICTIONARY—Doesn’t need to be consulted.
DINING—You’ll first get appetizers, so you can only think about food. Force yourself to have conversations while waiting for the main course, try to avoid following the aforementioned appetizers with your eyes until they disappear into the mouths of your company.
DIP PEN—Looks very chic. Gives the feeling of being a real writer.

DIPLOMA—Is seriously liable to inflation. Soon even the roofer will have a PhD.

DIVERSITY—Worth promoting.

DOCUMENT—Really everything requires a certificate or proof. For fondness for paperwork, see OFFICIAL.

DOCUMENTARY—Make a documentary about thát!

DOG—He doesn’t do anything. He just wants to play.

DOGMA’S—To be avoided.

DOLPHIN—Putin’s favorite animal. Was used as a spy during World War II.

DOUBT—Millennials are paralyzed by it.

DREAM—A symbolic expression of your deepest erotic desires.

DUCKS—Spent their whole lives following Konrad Lorenz.

DUST—Where does it keep coming from? Look at the ceiling.

DWARF—Not allowed to say that. The story of Snow White is filled with hidden Freudian references.

E

EDUCATION—Its quality has been declining for years. It’s always good to bring up some self-imposed reforms in a conversation.
EGG—People who eat them raw are bold. One is none.

EGOISTS—Are bred by a society like ours.

EINSTEIN—Known for his strong quotes.

ELEPHANT—Can still take revenge on their boss after decades. Look very sad, especially those in zoos.

ELEVEN CITIES TOUR—Whenever it freezes for more than two days, hope ignites. Excitement sweeps through Holland until the ice master shatters the hope.

E-MAIL—Complain you receive way too many. Explain how many you still have to answer. If it’s a lot, you’re important.

EMANCIPATION—Is still not finished. Should be included in every policy text, statement of principles and artist statement.

EMIGRANTS—Remark they just don’t know what to do with their lives. Be envious of it.

EMOTION—Never let it overpower you. Women suffer from this more.

ENCYCLOPEDIA—With the internet, all knowledge is at your fingertips, but still keep them because you never know.

ENGLISH¹—All words that really matter should be pronounced in English. Causes the degradation of national languages.

ENGLISH²—Drinking themselves knackered, dressing scantily and are bothered by Brexit.

ENJOY—You must do it while you can.

ENTHUSIASM—Be careful not to upset anyone by it.

ERUDITION—Feature of narcissists.

ETYMOLOGY—Indispensable in poetic essays.

EVENING PERSON—Usually in the creative sector. Are more intelligent than morning people.

EXCEPTION—Confirms the rule.

EXPERT—Has the solution to the problem.

F

FACE—Beauty is on the inside. Yet you can tell at a glance what a person possesses.

FACTORY—Secretly discharges toxins into the river.
FAME— Thanks his glory to his commercial approach: “He’s more a businessman than an artist.”
FAMILY MEMBERS—Always very annoying and petty. Visit every weekend anyway.

FANFARE BAND—Gives an authentic experience of the way people used to party.

FANTASY—Can get out of control. Is all you need to be an artist.

FARM—A place to stay during your vacation. Preferably where there are still utensils from the past such as a waffle iron, milk churn, cobweb duster or detachable skates.

FEAR—Only for the brave and the fainthearted.

FEET (cold)—Syndrome of singles.

FEMALE COLLEAGUE—Brings the necessary frivolity to the workplace.

FENCE—Often a point of contention among neighbors. Is frequently placed without consultation, is too high or too low and objects from one side regularly end up on the other side (balls, cats, leaves).

FETUS—Will always provoke a heated debate. Stirring because of the taboo atmosphere.

FINAL EXAM—The ticket to your future. Always gives a distorted picture.

FIRMAMENT—Use this word when going on a nightly walk with your date. It increases the chances of a positive outcome.

FLIGHT SHAME —Very annoying to be bothered by when looking for the cheapest travel route.

FOIE GRAS—Can’t get it over your heart to eat it.

FORD (Henry)—Invented the assembly line. The most influential man of the 20th century.

FOREHEAD—The higher the more intelligent.

FOREST—Is thought-provoking. A stage for romance during Spring, turns melancholic in Fall.

FREEDOM—One man’s freedom ends where another one’s begins.

FRIENDSHIP—Is heavily underestimated. Especially important in the period between relationships.

FUKUYAMA—Announced the end of history. He was wrong!

FUNDING—This word should be avoided during conversations with family.

FUNERAL—Lacks rituals because atheists don’t have enough imagination.
FUR—Only if it’s second hand.

G

GAME—Authentic meat. When you eat it you think of hunters in leather pants blowing their hunting horns.

GARAGE—All the big tech companies started there.

GENERAL—Dreams of horses and armored vehicles. Often stares at the horizon.

GENIUS—Is fixed from birth. Usually goes hand in hand with nervousness.

GERMANS—Will never be able to turn the black page of their history. Very decent people.

GIFT—Always pretend to be excited about it. It’s better to give than to receive.

GOD—Is dead, and we killed him. Yes, Nietzsche.

GOTHIC—Always think of the bell-ringer of the Notre-Dame, and therefore of the fire. Be annoyed about the fact that billions were donated for its reconstruction while the Amazon forest was burning down.

GRAMMAR—The rules get broken more and more often. This is a sign that our language is deteriorating.

GREECE—The cradle.

GUN—Very exciting, but loudly advocate pacifism.

GYMNASTICS—Invigorating for body and soul. Gymnastics teachers are often perverts.

H

HAMMOCK—Ideal place for a selfie.

HAND WRITING—Reveals a lot about one’s character.

HAPPINESS—Being happy is an attitude to life. Can be achieved through mindfulness and meditation, but normal people don’t have time for that.

HARP—Is played by elegant ladies. Imagine how they get that giant thing on the train.

HEALTH—You don’t know what good health is until it’s gone.

HEART—Is a muscle!

HEROES— Work in healthcare.

HERRINGS—Are supposed to be eaten hanging by the tail. Authentic Dutch custom.

HISTORY—Written by the victor.

HORIZON—You have to keep this one in sight at all times.

HORSES—Are very sensitive animals and teach you how to be in touch with nature.

HUMAN—Even the biggest criminal has a side like that.

HUMOR—You should absolutely have this in common with your lover, or you might as well break up right away. (See PROFOUND)

I

ICE CREAM—It’s indecent to look at a woman licking an ice cream.

ICEBERG—Reminds one of the Titanic and the climate crisis.

IDEAL—Always remains unattainable.

ILLUSIONS—Don’t create one!

IMMIGRATION—Thé divisive issue in Europe.  

IMPORT—Comes mostly from China and is of inferior quality.

INDIA—One goes there to find oneself.

INK— Before, one used to be able to recognize clerks and intellectuals by the ink stains on their fingers. Today they have a mouse arm. We live in prosaic times!

INTEREST—Important to pretend you have it when waiting for your turn to talk.

INTERESTING—Say this when you don’t actually have an opinion.

INTERNET—The origin of all conspiracy theories. Loading one page takes as much energy as making a cup of coffee.

INTERVIEW—Always candid.

INTUITION—It’s what you should follow at all time. Feminine.

ITALY—The ideal holiday destination. The men there are terrible machos.

J

JAPANESE—Known for very sophisticated customs and the most bizarre fetishes, and usually commit suicide in a ritualistic way.

JEALOUSY—You should try to hide your jealousy from your colleagues or loved ones.

JURY—Is always biased.

K

KISSES—Always cause confusion for the inter-regional traveler or the cosmopolitan. One? On each cheek? Three? Exclaim you don’t know it anymore either.

L

LAWYERS—All thieves! (see STOCKBROKERS and POLITICIANS)

LION—King of animals. Not so long ago, one was shot dead by a dentist. Disgraceful!

LOVE—It’s complicated / very simple.

LOVERS—make too big a deal out of themselves.

LIBERAL—Just uses his common sense. Sits between two extremes.

LIBRARY— Always have one in your home, but complain about its size because it makes moving so cumbersome.

LITERATURE—Is always autobiographical, regardless of what the writer claims.

LOURDES—Always relate about an acquaintance who brought holy water from there, drank from it years later to cure her gout and ended up in the hospital with a severe bacteriological infection.

M

MADRID—If someone went on Erasmus there, you can assume that they had a wild time.

MARRIAGE (your own)—The most beautiful day of your life.

MASS—Always behaves badly during demonstrations. Gets carried away easily and is driven by gut feelings (consisting of hate or cheap sentiments).

MATH—Sharpens the mind. Requires more intelligence than human sciences.

MEAT—In a hundred years we’ll find eating meat as immoral as slavery.

MEGA STABLE—Can’t be called a farm anymore, it’s a factory! Farmers are managers nowadays.

MEMORY—Say you’re bad at memorizing faces allowing yourself not to remember names.

MIDDLE AGES—Famous for the Black Death, the invention of printing, and dyeing textiles with urine.

MILK—You only drink a glass of milk before going to bed. If you have a tapeworm, you should hold a glass in front of your mouth and then it will come out.

MINISKIRTS—Are a danger to marriages.

MONEY—Rules the world, is always prioritized over people and nature, and does not make one happy.

MORNING PERSON—Is usually a show-off and rarely amusing at a bar.

MOSQUITO—Proof that God doesn’t exist.

MOTORCYCLIST—Will once meet his gruesome end.

MOVEMENT—Sounds better than ‘political party’.

MUSK (Elon)—The most dangerous man on earth.

N

NAPOLEON—Because of him, everyone has a last name.

NATURAL WINE—Makes it easy to pretend being a wine connoisseur. Is also more ecological.

NATURE—Preferably untouched.

NEGATIVE—Every negative also has a positive. “Every downside has its upside.”

NEIGHBORS—Live too close by.

NETHERLANDS (the)—The America of Europe.

NETWORKING—Tell everyone you loathe it, but sigh: “that’s just how the world works.” Should go hand in hand with a festive atmosphere.

NEWSPAPERS—Can go with the waste paper. Journalists are too lazy to do their job properly and only write opinion pieces. The written press is at a dead end anyway.

NIGHTMARE—Has to be analyzed as it always contains a deeper meaning.

NOBILITY—Nearly extinct breed. The last ones with true sophistication. Applaud them when they have a heart for the common people.

NORTH-AMERICA—Moral and social example: all hashtags come from there.
NOTARIES— Act distinguished and make way too much money for a simple piece of paper.

NUCLEAR REACTOR—Sooner or later it goes wrong, just look at Chernobyl and Fukushima.

O

OCEAN—Is full of plastic.

OFFICIAL—Nag at. Is a small cog in bureaucracy. Always caught in Kafkaesque situations.

ORWELL—Was a visionary. When you talk about surveillance, always call it Orwellian. This allows you to give a comprehensive analysis with just one word.

OYSTERS—Are an aphrodisiac. Mention this fact every time you eat them.

P

PAPERCLIP—You can use them to open locks on doors and handcuffs.

PARIS—Too romantic to visit on your own.

PARTNER—The usage of this word creates confusion about the sex of the lover and the nature of the relationship.

PASSION—Must be contained unless one is truly in love.

PETITION—You should sign it.

PHILOSOPHY—Make things harder than they are. It sounds impressive when someone says they’re a philosopher, but then you also know right away that they’re living on unemployment benefits.

PHOTOGRAPHER—Has a 24 times per second easier job than a filmmaker.

PIGEON—Was used as a messenger during World War II. Today best known as a flying rat.

PITY—Is the foundation of every good deed.
PLASTIC—Will be all that remains of our civilization.

POLICE—Should be busy with real crime!

POLITICIANS—All thieves! (See STOCKBROKERS and LAWYERS)

POOR (the)—Usually make the wrong decisions.

PRINTED—If your work is printed, you’ve made it. Too bad no one reads anymore.
PRINTING—The first mass medium. The beginning of a lot of misery.
PROBLEM—If someone claims there’s no problem, there actually is.

PROFOUND—You should be able to have such conversations with your lover. Otherwise, you might as well break up with them right away. (see HUMOR)

PROGRESS—They think they can achieve it by tearing down national heritage.
PROUST (Marcel)—Those who’ve read him think they’re quite something. Very long-winded.

PUBLIC TRANSPORT—Disastrous. Forces people to travel by car.

Q

QURAN—More modern than the Bible, but with extra violence.

R

RACLETTE—A heartwarming tradition. Wonder how they used to do it without miniature non-stick pans.

RADIATOR—Spreads an unhealthy warmth.

RAIN COAT—Very unfashionable garment, but highly useful for cyclists.

RAIN FOREST—Is being cut down. If one species of animal or plant goes extinct, the whole ecosystem is disrupted.

REACTIONARY—Feels wonderful to call someone that. Gives the impression of being very worldly yourself.

REAL ESTATE—The best investment. Renting a house is a waste of money.

REALISTIC—You should always stay that way, and so should art. The worst comment you can make on a movie is that it’s not believable.

RECIPE—Grandmother’s recipe always turns out to come from a packet.

RELIGION—For some people quite comforting.

REPORTER—The absence of his style shows his objectivity.

RESTAURANT—Say, disgruntledly, that you get better food at home.

REVOLUTION—Never leads to anything good.

RHYME—Not used in serious poetry these days.

RING—A wedding ring adds to the attraction.

RUSSIANS—Have proven that a communist dictatorship produces genius art.

S

SAILOR—Always scrawny, with big hands and a red nose.

SALAD—Very healthy. Is good for bowel movements.

SATIRE—People don’t understand it these days.

SAYINGS—One should know their sayings!

SCIENCE—Is mostly useless, except when it can lead to a cure for cancer.

SCULPTURES—Old ones are sexist or colonialist, modern ones are usually too abstract.

SEA—Contains more mystery than the universe. The imagination of the sublime. Has delighted artists for thousands of years.

SEA SICKNESS—Only weaklings suffer from it.

SEASONS—Which?

SELF-PITY—One revels in that. Has a tragic side, just like self-gratification.

SELFIE STICK—Was funny at first.

SEX—Say that “it” happened instead, or better yet that “something” happened. Preferably broach the subject when nothing has happened.

SHEPHERD—Very authentic profession. Feel like you’re part of the true rural life when you meet them on vacation

SHIP—Is not a boat.

SICK—To a seriously ill person you should tell about an acquaintance who also got much better. Or try to put him in touch with a very good doctor you know through friends.

SIGHING—Is forbidden.

SITTING—Is the new smoking.

SKIRT—Hot because of the opening only hidden by an inaccessible line of sight. The excitement of glass floors.

SLEEP IN—Best after hard work and with an embarrassment that you proclaim loudly.

SLEEPOVER—Creates a special bond with a friend of the same sex. With a friend of the opposite sex, there is the possibility of “something happening”.

SMILE—Doesn’t cost a thing.

SNEEZE—Always full out!

SNOW—Inuit have dozens of words for it.
SOCIETY—That’s us. But you never personally get in touch with it.

SORROW—Talk about it, but not for too long.

SQUARE—A square without trees is a disgrace.

STALACTITE CAVE—A cathedral of solidified time! Our first ancestors organized ritual ceremonies (orgies) there.

STOCK MARKET—Floats on the waves of the subconscious.

STOCKBROKERS—All thieves. (See LAWYERS and POLITICIANS)

STOMACH—Is very sensitive. Stomach ulcers are always the result of stress.

STORY—We’re all storytellers.

STOUT—When talking about people over seventy.

STRAWS—If they’re plastic you should refuse them. Sea turtles choke on them.

SUFFRAGE—One would trade it in for a new TV these days.

SUICIDE—Will soon be the leading cause of death.

SUMMER—Always disappoints.

SUN—A burning ball of lava.

SURGEONS—Make too much money. “They’re only body mechanics really!”

SWALLOWS—The sound of summer. They were thought to hibernate under the ice.

SWEATY HANDS—Sign of a bad conscience.

SWEDISH—A language invented for children’s movies.

SWINDLER—Only bad if he’s of foreign origin.

SWORD—The one from Damocles is always hanging over someone’s head and the one from Excalibur is stuck in a stone. Little boys always want one.

SYNONYMS—See ETYMOLOGY.

T

TAMERS (of wild animals)—Have a messed up love life. Will soon be out of work due to the growing influence of animal activists.

TAPAS—Small appetizers from Spain.

TASTE— There’s no accounting for.

TAXATION—The strongest shoulders bear the heaviest burdens. You’re a thief of your own wallet if you can’t find a way to pay less.

TEACHER—Is outrageously underpaid. Often hits on female students, even after #metoo.

TEASEL—Was used back in the days to card wool with. How inventive they were with nature!
TEETH—The position of our teeth has become far too regularized. In the past, characteristically crooked teeth contributed to our personality.

THANKS—Exhaust yourself by it while suppressing your guilt.

THINKING—As soon as you start thinking, you remember something sad.

THOUGHTLESSNESS—”One moment of inattention can make one weep for weeks.”
TIME—Flies!

TOGETHER—Popular conjunction used to encourage a sense of community. “We’ve agreed on these rules together …”

TRADE—Traders are parasites.

TRANSSEXUAL— Avoid this word at all cost. They seem to occur a lot when you go to the bathroom in cultural institutions.

TRAVELING—An adventurous hobby. Great to take pictures for your Tinder account.

TSUNAMI—Be annoyed when the word is used in the context of refugees. 

TUNA—Anytime you order it, you hope no one will start talking about dolphins in fishing nets.

TURTLE NECK (black)—Part of the default wardrobe of an intellectual who wants to belong to the intellectuals.

U

UNIVERSITY—The scene of toxic power relationships.

UTOPIAN—All large-scale construction projects of the 1960s.

V

VACCINATION—Ask in a coy tone how the other person feels about it. Try not to come across as judgmental: could lead to an unsavory conversation.

VENICE—Is built entirely on wooden posts and horse leather. Should be visited quickly before it disappears underwater. When you do, complain about the amount of tourists.

VIOLENCE (senseless)—We must fight to stop it.

VOLUME OF POETRY—You mostly pay for the blank lines.

W

WALK—After a brisk walk, you’ve earned coffee and pastries.

WASH CLOTHS—Are disgusting. Meant to clean genitals and children’s faces.

WATER—Drink a lot of it. It purifies the constitution. You should always carry it with you in a reusable bottle.

WEALTH—Say it’s unimportant. Yet top up in every way possible.

WEATHER—Is never as they predicted. Say this as if the meteorologists didn’t keep to the appointment.

WINING—Sociable pastime with friends or close acquaintances.

WINTER—Complain that it’s not a real winter. When it snows: complain about the cold.

WOKE—Let’s keep it cozy please.

WORKER—Still works at a factory. Secretly writes poetry during breaks.

WRITERS—Live more intensely. Usually fall prey to depression as a result.

Y

YAWNING—Makes you yawn.

YOGA—The most fashionable way of moving. Even in unfamiliar company you can do a few poses in between because you’re very tense from work.

YOUNG MAN—Is only pronounced when the person involved has something on his record.

YOURSELF—Being it is the most important thing of all.

YOUTH (the)—A lost generation

Z

ZEPPELIN—Catch on fire all the time. Too bad, because what a great mode of transportation that was! They always had red curtains, high pile carpet and a running buffet.